First time in London? Here’s how to make your trip as easy and pleasurable as possible
If you’re planning your first trip to London and are feeling perhaps a little intimidated, never fear- your local personal guide is here. I’m the best tour guide in London because I’m local, I know the best places to go, and I usually get naked too.
As a seasoned Londoner and well-organised hedonist, I’m going to give you a brief rundown on how I would go about my first trip, including first places to stay and eat, indispensable apps to download and the piece de resistance, a truly excellent and highly legit London-specific escort directory.
Not left home yet?
Then there’s still time for advance planning, truly the hidden key to maximising a business-with-pleasure trip and minimising stress.
Book your hotel before you leave and pay in advance to make check in feel nicer. London hotels I recommend include 45 Park Lane, Bulgari Hotel, The Connaught, Four Seasons Park Lane, the Mandarin Oriental, The Whiteley, and the suites at The Mandrake and The Ned. I do not recommend using AirBnB. Cost-effective alternatives include The Hoxton, Melia White House and Nobu Shoreditch.
And don’t stop there- while you’re booking your hotel, book your two other basic necessities in advance too: your restaurant(s) and your companion(s).
Hotels generally have more rooms than a nice restaurant has tables. And that companion you have your eye on, well, there is only one of her, so she’s even less likely to have room for you last-minute than a hotel or a restaurant.
Don’t travel for hours to the big smoke just to sit alone in your room eating generic room service before leaving Friday morning without having tasted London. Book your companions and restaurants as far in advance as you can, because they get busy.
The best London directory for connecting with companions and kink providers at the moment is KLE (Kinky London Escorts), which is run exclusively and equitably by the ladies themselves, many of whom attend the regular KLE socials and have genuine rapport with each other outside of dating. Everyone involved with the site knowing each other is protection against fake profiles appearing and this tight-knit community with its diverse members list really does represent the very best of what London has to offer. If you have never dated in London before it is absolutely the safest and best place to begin, hands down. And all of us love to eat, which brings us to…
My personal favourite London restaurants and bars include Alain Ducasse at The Dorchester, Canton Blue at the Peninsula, Core by Clare Smyth, the Fumoir at Claridge’s or The Ritz Rivoli Bar for a perfectly mixed cocktail, Hakkasan, Kioku by Endo at Raffles OWO, The Lecture Room & Library at sketch, Nobu Mayfair, Park Chinois (just for cocktails and dim sum though), The Pem at Conrad St James, Pétrus, and The Ritz Dining Room. Pick one or two and book a lunch or dinner there, you won’t regret it. For something more casual, check out ROKA, Dishoom, Bocca di Lupo, Barrafina, Nessa, Ducksoup or Bocconcino, all very central, and all still pretty much requiring advance booking.
Still not casual enough, or is everywhere you wanted to eat booked up? Summer’s coming so go for a stroll around Borough Market (handy for Shangri-La at The Shard, if you happen to be staying there) or get takeout from Harrods Food Hall and have a breezy picnic in Hyde Park.
Getting around in London
There are three ways to travel in London: walking, black cabs, and the tube. I find Uber in London to be unreliable so I don’t recommend it. Instead I use the Gett app, which works just like Uber except it’s for black cabs. The journeys are faster and more pleasant and the roof has a huge sunroof so you can get a better look at the architecture as you go.
The tube can seem intimidating even for those who are used to using metro systems until you start using the free TfL journey planner, which gives you detailed instructions on how to get from A to B. You don’t need to buy a ticket to use the tube or the buses, you can just tap your credit card on the turnstiles as you go. There are free paper tube maps to study at almost every tube station and staff to point you in the right direction.
Walking around Central London (Zone 1, if you’re looking at a tube map) is very pleasant as long as your companion has flat shoes. The only places to avoid are parks after dark. I love walking in London as my preferred mode of transport when I can. Sure my hair might not look quite as perfect as it would have done in a cab, but it’s a great city with historic architecture, buzzing shops and if you like people-watching, you’re in the right place.
London is an exhilarating city with endless opportunities to explore, indulge, and make rich memories. By planning ahead, you can avoid the stress of last-minute bookings and truly immerse yourself in the best that London has to offer. From luxury hotels and gourmet dining to finding the right companion, taking the time to organize your trip in advance will ensure everything goes smoothly and pleasurably. The Gett black cab app and TfL website make transport a breeze, but don’t forget to explore London on foot if you can- it's one of the best ways to discover the charm and beauty of this vibrant metropolis. So book ahead, relax, and most of all, enjoy your time in one of the world’s most dynamic cities!