First time in London? Here’s how to make your trip as easy and pleasurable as possible

If you’re planning your first trip to London and are feeling perhaps a little intimidated, never fear- your local personal guide is here. I’m the best tour guide in London because I’m local, I know the best places to go, and I usually get naked too.

As a seasoned Londoner and well-organised hedonist, I’m going to give you a brief rundown on how I would go about my first trip, including first places to stay and eat, indispensable apps to download and the piece de resistance, a truly excellent and highly legit London-specific escort directory.

Not left home yet?

Then there’s still time for advance planning, truly the hidden key to maximising a business-with-pleasure trip and minimising stress.

Book your hotel before you leave and pay in advance to make check in feel nicer. London hotels I recommend include 45 Park Lane, Bulgari Hotel, The Connaught, Four Seasons Park Lane, the Mandarin Oriental, The Whiteley, and the suites at The Mandrake and The Ned. I do not recommend using AirBnB. Cost-effective alternatives include The Hoxton, Melia White House and Nobu Shoreditch.

And don’t stop there- while you’re booking your hotel, book your two other basic necessities in advance too: your restaurant(s) and your companion(s).

Hotels generally have more rooms than a nice restaurant has tables. And that companion you have your eye on, well, there is only one of her, so she’s even less likely to have room for you last-minute than a hotel or a restaurant.

Don’t travel for hours to the big smoke just to sit alone in your room eating generic room service before leaving Friday morning without having tasted London. Book your companions and restaurants as far in advance as you can, because they get busy.

The best London directory for connecting with companions and kink providers at the moment is KLE (Kinky London Escorts), which is run exclusively and equitably by the ladies themselves, many of whom attend the regular KLE socials and have genuine rapport with each other outside of dating. Everyone involved with the site knowing each other is protection against fake profiles appearing and this tight-knit community with its diverse members list really does represent the very best of what London has to offer. If you have never dated in London before it is absolutely the safest and best place to begin, hands down. And all of us love to eat, which brings us to…

My personal favourite London restaurants and bars include Alain Ducasse at The Dorchester, Canton Blue at the Peninsula, Core by Clare Smyth, the Fumoir at Claridge’s or The Ritz Rivoli Bar for a perfectly mixed cocktail, Hakkasan, Kioku by Endo at Raffles OWO, The Lecture Room & Library at sketch, Nobu Mayfair, Park Chinois (just for cocktails and dim sum though), The Pem at Conrad St James, Pétrus, and The Ritz Dining Room. Pick one or two and book a lunch or dinner there, you won’t regret it. For something more casual, check out ROKA, Dishoom, Bocca di Lupo, Barrafina, Nessa, Ducksoup or Bocconcino, all very central, and all still pretty much requiring advance booking.

Still not casual enough, or is everywhere you wanted to eat booked up? Summer’s coming so go for a stroll around Borough Market (handy for Shangri-La at The Shard, if you happen to be staying there) or get takeout from Harrods Food Hall and have a breezy picnic in Hyde Park.

Getting around in London

There are three ways to travel in London: walking, black cabs, and the tube. I find Uber in London to be unreliable so I don’t recommend it. Instead I use the Gett app, which works just like Uber except it’s for black cabs. The journeys are faster and more pleasant and the roof has a huge sunroof so you can get a better look at the architecture as you go.

The tube can seem intimidating even for those who are used to using metro systems until you start using the free TfL journey planner, which gives you detailed instructions on how to get from A to B. You don’t need to buy a ticket to use the tube or the buses, you can just tap your credit card on the turnstiles as you go. There are free paper tube maps to study at almost every tube station and staff to point you in the right direction.

Walking around Central London (Zone 1, if you’re looking at a tube map) is very pleasant as long as your companion has flat shoes. The only places to avoid are parks after dark. I love walking in London as my preferred mode of transport when I can. Sure my hair might not look quite as perfect as it would have done in a cab, but it’s a great city with historic architecture, buzzing shops and if you like people-watching, you’re in the right place.

London is an exhilarating city with endless opportunities to explore, indulge, and make rich memories. By planning ahead, you can avoid the stress of last-minute bookings and truly immerse yourself in the best that London has to offer. From luxury hotels and gourmet dining to finding the right companion, taking the time to organize your trip in advance will ensure everything goes smoothly and pleasurably. The Gett black cab app and TfL website make transport a breeze, but don’t forget to explore London on foot if you can- it's one of the best ways to discover the charm and beauty of this vibrant metropolis. So book ahead, relax, and most of all, enjoy your time in one of the world’s most dynamic cities!

Who do you have to become to climb the mountain?

An actual mountain climber started chatting to me about the mountain-climbing analogy I used in my last blog and gave me this interesting insight: “It’s true that climbing the mountain isn’t just about being on the summit. But it isn’t just about the climb, either. It’s about who you have to become in order to do the climb.”

I think he means that it’s not just about the journey, where you have to be courageous and clever and overcome obstacles; you have to become a courageous, clever, problem-solving person, and that’s the real attraction and value of climbing that mountain.

In my last blog I said,

I have always been very highly sexed. After many years, I finally decided to be more open about it and to date the way I had always dreamed of- even though I wasn’t really sure that was possible. I could visualise how it would look. I had obstacles to overcome. I was afraid! Afraid that if I didn’t get married, I would end up regretting it- but all I really wanted to do with my life was have multiple lovers with whom I could share sensual excitement and fulfilment.

I found a way of doing that by confronting my anxieties and becoming a companion. It was a leap! I was surprised and elated to find that there are other people out there who feel the same way I do. My quest keeps unfolding as I meet more and more of them and now I can honestly say that not only was my goal achievable, it actually paled by comparison to how it feels to be doing it in real life. I look back and realise that following a conventional path would have been more risky to my happiness than taking that first leap into the unknown was.

Who did I have to become to climb my mountain?

I had to become Lilly!

A girl who leaps at opportunity, a planner, a trusting and trustworthy person, someone brave enough to seize the day and make the most out of this one short life we have. If I hadn’t become this person, I would still be stuck in my old anxieties and life would still be passing my by as I watched others do what I wanted to do and silently fantasised about it.

I hope that you too are excited about who you become in order to overcome your obstacles and complete your quest. A man of action, someone with guts, someone clever, someone successful, someone in touch with themselves, someone enjoying all that life has to offer, an explorer, a discoverer of new worlds and life experiences?

I genuinely and from the bottom of my heart wish you all this and more! And if, like me, sensual fulfilment is part of your personal quest, perhaps we should meet- somewhere on the way up.

Your Story Starts Here

Everyone is the hero of their own story.

We overcome obstacles.

We pursue a quest to reach our goals.

Maybe we rescue some princesses along the way- or maybe the princesses themselves are the goal.

For the story to work, every hero must have enemies to vanquish before he completes his quest- otherwise it’s a short and boring story.

“I went on a quest to climb a mountain so I just went ahead and climbed the mountain, it was okay, the end” isn’t interesting.

We need to hear about the preparation, the plotting, the failed attempts, lessons learned and fears overcome to finally stand on that mountaintop months or years later with the sun on your face and the life-affirming sense of achievement and elation coursing through your veins. That’s the most important part of the movie!

What is the core enemy we need to vanquish in our hectic, responsibility-laden lives?

For me- being sensually unfulfilled is my core enemy. Sensual fulfilment is the ultimate goal, and not because I’m shallow! I can make money, read books, be entertained at the tap of the button, eat, sleep, spend time with family and go pretty much wherever I want to very easily, but sensual fulfilment is trickier and more elusive.

That’s what makes it a quest!

My drives are generally pretty high- but not absolutely always. Sometimes I’m tired. I’m busy. I’m nervous. These things take time. You know this part of the story.

Secondary enemies include wasted time, wasted money, the danger of secrets being exposed, and the potential for embarrassment. Can you relate?

Is this an impasse?

What happens next in your story, or is this the end?

For the plot to work, the hero should finally meet the enemy head-on. In our story, where the enemy is a lack of sensual fulfilment, the friction peaks when the hero finally takes the leap and books a date with a companion.

Why?

This is the best choice for the hero in our story because not only does he beat the core enemy of lack of sensual fulfilment- he also beats the secondary enemies of wasted time and money (companions are a sure thing compared to Tinder et al), the danger of secrets being exposed (companions are less likely to get over-attached and make unexpected demands, and have a vested interest in maintaining a strict policy of professional confidentiality at all times) and embarrassment (companions are more likely to have social skills and be accepting of and experienced with different ages, body types and sexual preferences).

Phew!

But even that is too simple for the story to really be engaging! We need more drama than “hero feels sensually unfulfilled so he books a companion” for this to be a really great story.

Before vanquishing his enemies, the hero must overcome obstacles- otherwise it’s a boring story. Getting dropped off on the top of the mountain by luxury helicopter ride isn’t as exciting a story as climbing it.

What are the hero’s obstacles in our story?

Anxieties. In other words, fear.

Fear of the imagined dangers of climbing the mountain: of finally being open in his sexual expression, of investing money, of getting caught, and simply of the unknown.

In summary, our story so far is that the client (hero) overcomes his anxieties (obstacles) in order to complete his quest (experiencing sensual fulfilment).

I can certainly relate to this!

This is my personal, real-life version of the story, if you’re interested:

I have always been very highly sexed. After many years, I finally decided to be more open about it and to date the way I had always dreamed of- even though I wasn’t really sure that was possible. I could visualise how it would look. I had obstacles to overcome. I was afraid! Afraid that if I didn’t get married, I would end up regretting it- but all I really wanted to do with my life was have multiple lovers with whom I could share sensual excitement and fulfilment.

I found a way of doing that by confronting my anxieties and becoming a companion. It was a leap! I was surprised and elated to find that there are other people out there who feel the same way I do. My quest keeps unfolding as I meet more and more of them and now I can honestly say that not only was my goal achievable, it actually paled by comparison to how it feels to be doing it in real life. I look back and realise that following a conventional path would have been more risky to my happiness than taking that first leap into the unknown was.

You can start getting ready to make your dreams a reality by doing small, simple, easy things, like following your favourite providers on social media, learning about them on their websites and, reading their blogs, of course!

This is like the hero preparing his mighty steed, polishing his shining armour and getting ready to face down his enemy to reach the princess!

And when you feel ready as you’ll ever be to mount your horse and make the charge- the exciting part of the story begins. This is when you introduce yourself to her. I hope and believe that you will have the same experience I did- achieving your goal, and then some! My whole life improved when I embraced a lifestyle that was more authentic to who I am on the inside, and I truly want the same for you.

You can follow me on OnlyFans, X or Bluesky today, and when you are ready to begin your story- introduce yourself or arrange a phone call. See you on the mountaintop.

Lack of sexual intimacy in men: why it happens, why it matters and how to navigate it

Today I want to talk about lack of romantic sensual intimacy in the lives of otherwise successful men.

I’m not talking about people who just aren’t that interested in doing it, I’m talking about men who do want more! and just aren’t sure how to navigate that want.

But first of all, why does a lack of sensual intimacy matter and why can it be a problem?

Intimacy is important for your mental health

Intimacy and satisfaction are important components of mental health. Men who lack intimacy may experience feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiety. It can also lead to a decline in self-esteem and confidence, especially if they perceive their lack of activity as a reflection of their desirability or worth. It is not a reflection of your desirability or worth! Numerous factors contribute, from hormonal changes to busy working schedules. But sometimes it is hard not to let it knock your self-esteem if it’s been a long time. I’ve been there!

I once had a spell in my fashion/ media career where I was travelling across three continents on the reg with crazy hours, numerous “hats” to wear, events to attend, and an expectation that I look a certain way while I do it, which added to the pressure and filled the last few scraps of free time I had with Pilates, trying to squeeze in early nights and doing all my own beauty treatments either at 5am or after dinner because during salon opening hours I was always travelling, shooting, at a meeting, at an event etc etc etc.

Needless to say, my romantic life collapsed and even though I knew it was down to my schedule I did start to feel lonely and inadequate over time, especially the time I suddenly realised nearly three months had gone by with not only zero intimate contact with anyone else but also with myself! I wished I could schedule some hot intimate time- somewhere!- into my overflowing planner. I just didn’t have time for great encounters to occur naturally and organically. When was I supposed to find time to chill out in a bar and wait for attractive strangers to approach me?

It is important for physical health, including sleeping well and preventing diseases associated with old age

It’s not just mental health- sensual connection is important for physical health too and not getting any can be physically bad for us, especially as we get older. Sexual activity has been linked to numerous health benefits, including lower blood pressure, reduced risk of heart disease, improved immune function, and even better sleep. That’s right! If you’ve had trouble sleeping since things dried up, there could be a direct causal connection.

Studies from the Kinsey Institute in 2017 and the Journal of Sex Research in 2018 agreed that relationship satisfaction is positively associated with sexual satisfaction and frequency, which means if you are in a low-intimacy or no-intimacy relationship it could possibly lead to resentments or frustrations with your partner, eclipsing all the wonderful things you do share together.

Why is this happening to me?

I touched on this earlier but the reason otherwise successful men may struggle in this one area can actually be due to their success.

A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family (2015) found that long work hours were associated with decreased relationship satisfaction and sexual frequency among both men and women. But of course long work hours are usually required in order to become successful in the first place, and a lack of career success or ambition might not be attractive to potential partners.

This is reflected in a survey conducted by the Institute for Family Studies and the Wheatley Institution (2018), which found that perceptions of masculinity and success can influence relationship dynamics, with some men feeling pressure to prioritise career over personal life. The National Bureau of Economic Research noted in a study in 2019 that higher-income individuals may face challenges related to work-life balance and relationship quality.

In short, the impact of work stress on our sex lives should not be underestimated. It can kill spontaneous desire, even when you are not working, so unless you are scheduling intimacy appointments the way you schedule everything else, time flies by and before you know it, it’s been weeks, months or in some cases years since simultaneous spontaneous desire arose between you and a lover. It can happen to anyone. It happens to a lot of people, and if you are one of them, it is probably not your fault. Society is set up to reward your ambition and hard work, encourage dedication to your career not just for yourself but for your partner and family, benefit from your economic stimulation and sweep under the rug the potential consequences to your equally important but much less taxable private life. It does not care if you become unwell or just plain unhappy.

What can we do to increase romantic sensual intimacy in our lives?

Schedule sensual time.

It is not realistic to quit our jobs as a way of decreasing stress and having more free time, so personal time needs to be managed alongside work. If you are someone who writes everything down in their planner, this will work for you!

You know in advance when it’s coming and are prepared for it when it arrives. The attendant excitement and anticipation followed by warm memories mean that one simple date can improve your mood and attitude for weeks or months.

If you are struggling physically to get things started after a long break, try taking a high quality zinc supplement before getting a prescription for the infamous “little blue pills”. The difference with zinc can be remarkable within only a month. I have even heard that oysters’ high zinc content is where their reputation as an aphrodisiac comes from! But for this purpose, a few oysters won’t do the job- get a good supplement such as Garden of Life Raw Zinc, take it every morning until the bottle runs out and see what happens. It can work wonders on men, if you know what I mean…

Schedule other kinds of intimacy, such as a counselling appointment or two just to chat and a solo spa day with a nice long full body massage to help put you back in touch with yourself.

I also like to dine solo in really nice restaurants as a treat sometimes. It feels good to do something sensual and romantic just for myself. Plus if you’ve been somewhere before and know where everything is and how it works, you’ll look super relaxed if you take a date there.

Lastly, take a higher approach and think about why you want to hook up with someone, how you want them to feel throughout and how you could make the experience enjoyable for them too. This really helps to avoid overthinking your own physical reactions by distracting your mind, letting your body do its thing. If you take the approach that it’s all about you, your experience will always be limited to a kind of assisted masturbation at best. There is so much more pleasure to be had by giving pleasure away, believe me. Pleasure is the gift that always gives back tenfold- especially in our secret little world.

“I may have fallen in love with a sex worker I am paying. Could it be real?”

I have been seeing a sex worker for a year now, very regularly, like more than once a week. We go beyond sex and also have dinner dates and outside encounters. I am now extremely attached to her; I may have even fallen in love with her.

She was hired to provide me with a “girlfriend experience” and apparently she is really good at her job because she treats me so well that I sometimes ask myself if she has any feelings towards me. But I also understand that it may be just because she is an excellent professional; after all, she is just delivering what I asked her to deliver.

My dilemma is: should I accept that this is just a professional relationship that is bound to end one day or should I try to make it more permanent, possibly risking the end of the professional relationship that I enjoy so much?

Eleanor says: There’s a whole debate in studies of rationality about how we should react to what are called “debunking” problems. A debunking problem is when you believe something but there’s reason to think you’d have believed it whether it was true or not. So even though it really feels true, that isn’t necessarily a sign that it is true. Here’s one we all face: it really seems true that your kid is a phenomenally talented artist, or that your cat is in the 99th percentile of cuteness – but of course, your love for them would make you think that, so despite how strongly it feels true, you have to admit it might not be.

You know you’re in a debunking problem here. You pay her to make you feel adored, and when you do feel adored, it really feels true. But you also know you’ve asked her to trigger that feeling, so its intensity isn’t a guide to the truth.  

Does she have feelings for you? It’s not impossible. It’s not probable, either. But it’s not impossible. Still, I think the thing in the circumstances is to resolve that if she has feelings for you, she’ll tell you. That’s the only sign that you could take to be a true indication that she has feelings for you . And I think it is important not to stoke the hope that one day she will say that. Not “I’m waiting to see” – more like “I’m committed to thinking she doesn’t have feelings for me, unless she actively says otherwise”.

But – and this matters – that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the connection that you have with her. She provides this intimacy in exchange for money, it’s true. But you’re still allowed to experience it as intimacy. It’s so deeply important for us to be able to feel connected to others if want to be; seen and held if we want to be. Sometimes we get experiences that meet that need by purchasing them. People who want touch can buy massages, people who want sexual intimacy can buy it, people can even buy time to talk uninterrupted and just be listened to. These are all deeply valuable experiences and there’s nothing wrong with taking genuine succour and restoration and rejuvenation from them even though they’ve been bought. Professional relationships are just that – professional – but that doesn’t stop them from being genuine sources of care. She provides intimacy in exchange for money; you’re allowed to feel that intimacy.

You might also be pleasantly surprised by what this relationship could provide in the long term, even if she has no feelings for you at all. Sometimes experiencing the thing we need in a professional setting can make it easier to find and maintain it outside that setting. You don’t need to be thinking about endings or transience, either; sometimes relationships like this can last for years.

There’s nothing wrong with savouring the feelings you get from this relationship – as long as you recognise it as just that: a feeling, and not a guide to the truth.

This is an article by Eleanor Gordon-Smith copied and pasted here for your convenience. Click here to read it on The Guardian’s website (opens in a new window).

What is the difference between the Girlfriend Experience (GFE) and just… having a girlfriend?

Think of GFE as being all the best parts of having a guilt-free, mutually beneficial affair with an exciting, glamorous, sweet, friendly, occasionally kinky, well-educated and well-travelled girlfriend who is there to bring you out of your shell- with none of the potential drawbacks.

I will never nag, chase, get jealous, get lip fillers, tattoos or acrylic talons, pressure you for commitment, present unexpected financial or legal costs, have unprotected sex or outstay my welcome- or shy away from a threesome if you have your eye on one of my friends! In fact, I love it when you eye up my friends!

I am always discreet and drama-free, beautifully presented, adventurous, caring and excited to get to know you... intimately. I yearn to give pure passion, freedom, feminine elegance and good company, with no strings attached, whenever you need it. Perhaps that makes me the best girlfriend in the world.

A Client’s Guide to Avoiding Fake “Escort” Scams

I put up an AMA post on Reddit a while back and someone asked how to avoid getting scammed- it was the one thing holding him back from leaping into the luxurious pleasure of booking an escort. It could have been holding him back for years! I found I had several suggestions to make so I decided to collate them all into a blog. If I think of anything further, I will update :)

Avoiding scams is a topic that comes up again and again on social media, usually in reference to "clients" who refuse to screen or send a deposit because they say they are afraid of being scammed.

I put "clients" in quotation marks because you're not really a client unless you actually meet escorts, and of course you can't actually meet escorts if you don't follow their screening procedures. So really, they are much better described as men who stay home and repeatedly cock-block themselves out of fear.

Firstly, I would like to reassure any potential client reading this that if you are reasonably sober and sensible, you will probably never be scammed.

I have been meeting clients for a few years now, most of whom have far more experience than I do, and have never ever had one mention being scammed. I'm sure it happens, but I don't think it's particularly common. However, it is still perfectly understandable to want to stack the odds in favour of it never happening to you.

What kind of "scams" are we talking about? The ones I can think of are:

• you send an "escort" a deposit and then never hear from them again.

• you book a date with an "escort" who then blackmails you instead of meeting you.

• you meet an "escort" at her home, except instead of an escort, there is a gang of men waiting for you who rob you.

Notice I am also putting "escort" in quotation marks. An escort by definition is someone who honestly and openly dates for money, which is perfectly legal in Britain, but they are obviously not who we are talking about here. A person who steals money is a thief, a person who blackmails is a blackmailer and a gang who rob you are muggers, all of which are completely illegal and should be reported to the police. So who we're really talking about is thieves, blackmailers and muggers, and how to avoid them.

Step 1: READ THE WEBSITE. NOW READ IT AGAIN.

The most important step is the first one: doing your research, which is a fancy way of saying reading.

If you can read, you will probably never be scammed.

Read the escort's own personal website, all of it, not just the directory listings and online adverts you found on Google. 

Directory listings can be a convenient way to discover new people's websites, but may also be years out of date, or even auto-generated and not posted by the lady in question at all. They are fun to browse but do find the lady's personal .com or .co.uk website to ensure you are getting accurate, up to date information. Most also have an X/ Instagram/ Bluesky/ OnlyFans and/ or a blog you can peruse.

If they have gone to the effort and expense of building and maintaining their own website and have been blogging or posting regularly on social media for months or even years then they are almost certainly a real person. The guys who e-mail you saying that you've won the lottery do not go to that much effort.

Step 2: See if she's verified on any directories

Some websites like Tryst will tell you on a lady's profile that she has been "verified", which means a staff member has checked her ID and judged it to be her in her photos. Sadly, there is no equivalent feature for clients, which is why many escorts have to ask you to e-mail them your photo ID directly. Perhaps it is time we started asking websites like Tryst to allow clients to verify too!

Not all legitimate escorts get verified on every directory site, not least because some of them charge for the privilege or report our IDs to US Immigration so we can’t go on holiday (!)- but it's something.

Step 4: Do the communications sound professional? Be honest with yourself.

As a client, I would feel instantly reassured that I was doing the right thing by the perfect balance of friendly professionalism in an escort’s communications with me. Having done my research, I would send all my screening information in the first message if possible and would be very put off by someone who never asked for any, or by a seemingly new lady with adorable pictures and inexplicably low rates.

Why?

Someone could be desperate to meet for perfectly valid financial reasons, but there is a chance that the reason they don't seem at all picky about who they date is because they are actually looking for potential victims. Muggers are not picky and do not need you to screen.

If you send a politely worded initial enquiry and receive a torrent of unsolicited sex chat in return- hit pause. I have never met a genuine sex worker who wants to extensively talk dirty for free. If they seem desperate to turn your head with an unexpected deluge of dirty talk, it might be because they are trying to distract you from noticing other things- such as a lack of normal screening procedure.

Step 5 (optional): Ask if she offers paid phone chat or webcamming

If the lady you are interested in offers a phone chat or webcamming service, you can hear her voice and/ or see her live for yourself before meeting with very little risk. It’s also a nice way to break the ice so you feel more familiar upon meeting. If it isn’t mentioned on her site, ask politely if she would like a tip or gift in exchange for taking time to sit with you and allay your fears.

Step 6: Always meet in a public place

Suggest meeting your date in a comfortable (indoor!) public place such as a nice cocktail/ coffee bar or restaurant, instead of meeting in private straight away. The hotel bar will do fine. When she arrives, you will be able to see for yourself that she is a real lady and not a gang of men about to mug you. 

However, if you still get a bad feeling and your gut tells you to bail, discreetly hand her the envelope and go. Pretend to get an urgent text message if you need to. You are obliged to pay her consideration for the time you booked, but you are not obliged to stay or have any kind of sexual or private interaction with anyone you are not comfortable with. A truly high-class escort will understand. You can always rebook another time if you regret your decision.

What not to do: Ask for a free video call or free selfies

It is lazy, it is obnoxious, it is a security risk (especially for providers who do not publish photos or videos of their faces or voices) and perhaps more dangerously it makes you look like you don't know what you're doing, because it is unnecessary if you have already followed the above steps.

In the unlikely event that a provider agrees to see you after you've made this ill-mannered request, you will have made a horrible first impression that will be difficult to come back from- except possibly with extensive tipping and gifts! Better to just not do it in the first place.

What not to do: Be unrealistic 

If you have researched an escort with a well-written personal website stocked with plenty of photos (not just a directory listing), who:

• is verified on one or more platforms

• has a regularly updated X/ Instagram/ Bluesky/ OnlyFans profile

• has blog posts dating back months or years

• communicates professionally

• does not appear too good to be true

ask yourself how realistic it is that she would throw away her hard-earned reputation, glamorous career and quite possibly a six-figure income to make off with your relatively small deposit.

Would your deposit be enough for a person like this to retire on? Realistically, would it be worth it for them?

What not to do: Freak out

Establishing trust is a normal step along the path to sexual intimacy. If the thought of losing a deposit or being blackmailed frightens you beyond reason, no matter how long and carefully you research, then work instead on accepting that about yourself. Don’t make your fear her problem by lashing out or unfairly implying that she may be some sort of criminal for no good reason. Pause and ask yourself, has this woman actually done anything to me besides giving me a chance and asking me to follow normal client protocol?

Hack: The above process can be circumvented in part or in entirety if you already have a trusted companion you regularly see. Ask her to suggest her favourite friend for a duo date. You can meet someone new in a safe environment with someone you trust.

Final thoughts

Safety goes both ways. Some clients are nervous about getting scammed, whereas all escorts are nervous about getting raped and murdered, which is something to bear in mind when navigating a meeting. However high your stakes are, ours unfortunately are always higher.

If you are still too nervous to meet an escort, consider joining OnlyFans instead.

5 Steps for Socially Anxious Clients

If your sensuality feels blocked behind social awkwardness or shyness, this might be the blog for you.

I used to suffer intensely from social anxiety, to the point where I barely spoke at all between the ages of 16 and 18- perhaps that's part of the reason I became so interested in personal style and what I would call visual eloquence- expressing my inner world through style and spirit rather than through having to approach people and speak.

Thankfully, that quiet, awkward time is in the past for me, and with that empathy in mind, I have written this blog that I hope might help a shy gentleman out there approach a lady he is interested in.

1. Get to know my personality and desires in advance via this blog, X/ Bluesky and my wishlist. Yes, browse my wishlist, even if you have zero intention of buying anything: what’s on there tells you a lot about me and might give you something to chat about. Perhaps you like that product, hotel, restaurant or spa, or it’s on your bucket list, too!

2. If seeing someone you fancy naked for the first time makes you feel overwhelmed, you can have that moment alone and in advance using the wonders of the internet. I have a couple of nudes in my website gallery, and lots and lots of them on my OnlyFans account, which is the ideal place to get to know me better online. If you already know what I look like naked when we meet, you are more likely to look like Mr Cool (or at least, Mr Dignified) when you see the view in person.

3. Dream up a little date plan and mention it your message when you introduce yourself. You can use my wishlist for inspiration, if you like. Perhaps an art exhibition and dinner somewhere special to connect and build the tension followed by private time together at your hotel. Tip: unrushed first dates feel less stressful than brief encounters where one can almost hear the clock ticking. Squeezing a two-hour rendezvous into a packed schedule works much better with someone you are already very familiar with. A lunch or dinner date of four-six hours is my most popular first booking, and the time still flies.

4. Send a gift or tip in advance- always a pleaser!

5. You can do other advance prep before meeting to boost your sense of confidence and calm too. A yoga or gym session, a full body massage, a good night’s sleep, a haircut and professional shave, a mani-pedi, a hygienist appointment, new underwear, a little man-scaping, getting your favourite suit dry cleaned, and so forth. Each of these seemingly insignificant details can subconsciously positively affect a lady’s regard for you, give you ways to expel nervous energy in the run-up, and increase your inner confidence.

Ready to go? I know I am…

A Client’s Guide to Sexual Confidence

"Follow an expert." - Virgil

My honest thoughts right before meeting a new Client? "I hope they're nice. I hope they like me." I imagine the Client is thinking the same. But how do you get someone to like you? I'm not sure, but I think it begins with being very clean and very kind. Here are my thoughts.

It started with a kiss...

Kissing someone for the first time is one of the most subtly exciting of experiences. Perhaps we are still fully dressed, yet here we are, reaching out to each other and sharing intimacy. We are closing our eyes and literally tasting each other for the first time.

Our lips and tongues are so incredibly sensitive, and so close to our brains, that we can sense huge amounts of information from a kiss: taste, temperature, pressure. Even our noses are subtly involved in sensing what is going on.

We only get to have one first kiss, so I like to floss, use mouthwash and then brush my teeth immediately before. Then I can relax and not be self-conscious. (This may sound like an odd order to do it in. I saw a girl on X recommend it and now I'm never going back. I used to do brush, then floss, then mouthwash, but this way round really makes my mouth and teeth feel like they've been professionally cleaned.) Self-consciousness is almost as much of a passion-killer as bad breath (almost). I invite you to join me in this feeling of total relaxation. Hotel room bathrooms usually have toothbrushes and paste, or you can ask housekeeping to bring you some.

I'm yearning to touch you. Do you want to touch me?

The experience of stroking your date's silky skin is much more likely to go smoothly if you use a nail brush and then sand off any sharp bits.

There are emery boards in the vanity kits in hotel room bathrooms.

If you forget your nail brush, you can hack it by quickly washing your hair. That really cleans under your nails!

Scent is a powerful weapon in the seducer's arsenal.

Your companion smells amazing. Part of that delicious cocktail of erotic scents that make your cock twitch every time you come near her is her soap and shower gel, believe it or not, which may contain vanilla, chocolate, musk or certain spices that have aphrodisiac properties.

Whether you are busily showering in your hotel room in anticipation, don't make the common error of thinking that rinsing is the same as washing. What is the difference? Soap, plenty of it, from head to toe, and in every nook and cranny! 

Be generous when applying the shower gel to the wash cloth, and the soapy wash cloth to your whole body, paying special attention to your cock, balls and the cleft of your bottom, thinking of all the places you'd want your companion to touch and kiss you. It can be quite an erotic experience; a little hot, wet and slippery self-exploratory foreplay, if you will.

If you have a foreskin, you must pull it back and wash underneath every day, and after you pee- otherwise it won't be clean or fragrant when the moment… comes.

I personally have a particular thing for freshly washed balls that still have a mouth-watering scent of clean linen or oranges from the shower gel. I love kissing, licking, tasting and just... smelling them. I can get lost down there for quite some time! But if I can tell my date isn't in the habit of thoroughly soaping them, I find the taste and smell to be less enjoyable, and quietly avoid the area. If you don't use soap every day, your skin absorbs the bad smells over time, and even an emergency wash immediately before jumping into bed won't be enough to shift the none too fragrant results of months or even years of poor hygiene.

I want you to feel completely relaxed when we are together, and not worried about making a mess when you sit on white sheets and towels. You must wash the cleft of your bottom very thoroughly with the soapy wash cloth, really getting in there as far as you dare, so that you know that you can dry yourself equally thoroughly with a white towel and relax naked wherever you please without leaving embarrassing marks behind, and that your behind itself smells gorgeous.

All this talk of erotic scents is getting me very much in the mood, just writing this, btw! Scent can be a powerful aphrodisiac. Personally, I love a dash of cologne, but if you want a woman's point of view, it definitely isn't necessary :) A fresh kiss, a smooth touch and clean, fragrant, kissable skin are what matters.