If you’re planning your first trip to London and are feeling perhaps a little intimidated, never fear- your local personal guide is here. I’m the best tour guide in London because I’m local, I know the best places to go, and I usually get naked too.

Avoiding scams is a topic that comes up again and again on social media, usually in reference to "clients" who refuse to screen or send a deposit because they say they are afraid of being scammed.

I put "clients" in quotation marks because you're not really a client unless you actually meet escorts, and of course you can't actually meet escorts if you don't follow their screening procedures. So really, they are much better described as men who stay home and repeatedly cock-block themselves out of fear.

Firstly, I would like to reassure any potential client reading this that if you are reasonably sober and sensible, you will probably never be scammed.