If you’re planning your first trip to London and are feeling perhaps a little intimidated, never fear- your local personal guide is here. I’m the best tour guide in London because I’m local, I know the best places to go, and I usually get naked too.

“It’s true that climbing the mountain isn’t just about being on the summit. But it isn’t just about the climb, either. It’s about who you have to become in order to do the climb.”

I think he means that it’s not just about the journey, where you have to be courageous and clever and overcome obstacles; you have to become a courageous, clever, problem-solving person, and that’s the real attraction and value of climbing that mountain.

What is the difference between GFE and just having a girlfriend?

Think of GFE as being all the best parts of having a guilt-free, mutually beneficial affair with an exciting, glamorous, sweet, friendly, occasionally kinky, well-educated and well-travelled girlfriend who is there to bring you out of your shell- with none of the potential drawbacks.

I will never nag, chase, get jealous, get lip fillers, tattoos or acrylic talons, pressure you for commitment, present unexpected financial or legal costs, have unprotected sex or outstay my welcome- or shy away from a threesome if you have your eye on one of my friends! In fact, I love it when you eye up my friends!